a rose is a rose

new person at work who is many things i lack. makes me think about why i am this way. its politically insensitive as is most i say but ive said i dont like being gay. same thing. i hate being a dyke. wish i could wear what girls wear and feel like i am not dressed for some weird school play or like a real bad transvestite that just cant come close to pulling it off.
so i get the alarming and for me panicky job interviews like with pete rose where he repeatedly asks me if i ever considered wearing panty hose and each time he said the word panty i puked in my mouth. that word should not come up in a job interview and definitely should not come out of pete roses mouth. ever.