It's 9p and I'm at Home Wondering Why the Prosecutor Hates Me

Here's the problem.
There appears to be two of me--the one not in the presence of the prosecutor that is able to laugh laugh laugh at his serious, shiny faced, too small jacket, could only be happy doing hir job in iran ass--and then there is the me in hir presence that wants to be as juvenile as hir and point out flaws in a subtle and amusing to me way, which is almost unavoidable. I feel particularly sensitive to hir rudeness. As if to me it is magnified and a glowing example backed by the mormon choir of every asshole that claims righteousness through deprivation of others freedom.
I don't want to be the me in hir presence me. I want to be the other me. This new me annoys me, speaks too often and appears ruder than the other me. I dont know how to kill that annoying me without smoking pot in the courtroom. but I dont think that will help as I lost a quarter of my brain capacity in a bet last year.

it never ends until you're dead

so i got an email from the x this week inquiring about contact. and i said swell because i always say swell, which is probably what made her leave in the first place. i am thinking about calling her. should i call? i know what my sisters would say. but when the line rings i know my heart will race, all reason will leave me, i'll talk incessantly and lie in order to make myself sound more psychotic. and then despise my weaknesses for years while drowning my sorrows in doctor prescribed drugs, laughing because i'm technically a doctor too. or i could attempt to carefully and honestly write her about xxx but then that would leave evidence. i hated the uncontrollableness of the feelings i would get around her but i also miss feeling something so intensely. it seems like no favorite things in my life have as strong of shine anymore. its not fair that the shine would come from another person, but fair is a place you get cotton candy.

home of the world's largest beef packing plant

So, I live in Kansas. Thankfully, our house members were smart enough to recently pass the anti anything but hetero bill, which we call the marriage amendment. Anyhow, there are these commercials on now that have some famous person from KS (Amelia Erhart) and then talk about how when you have no boundries it is easy to fly or whatever. But all I can think is who the *uck are these commercials for. Either they are for people that already live here, in some odd attempt to convince them they are living in a place that is ok, or it is for those outside that think KS is lame and they are trying to convince them how great it is to live in a state with more open fields than open minds. There isn't even the possibility of being AnonymousLawyer here. But I say thank god for the desolation, otherwise there would be nowhere to cook meth.

TOLERANCE SUCKS

There are the freaks that want to ban gay people from getting married. At least these people are honest and open about their bigotry. But people who promote tolerance, are two faced shysters. Tolerate--to allow
Tolerance--the amount of variation allowed from the standard
Even better--the synonyms
Tolerate--permit, bear, endure, abide
Tolerance--concession, permission, forbearance, indulgence
So these tolerant people are willing to bear my existence, or to bear my having a clit, or to bear my choices in who touches my clit. I don't know what they are so put upon that they have to endure. I tolerate living in a hetero society, but I constantly try to change it, I avoid it at all costs, feel I have little choice and understand that the reasons I reject a hyper heterosexualized society, finding it to be immoral and detrimental.
I doubt anyone who has done this is reading this, but I want to make clear that when you say you believe in tolerance you not only lose 5 respect points, but you also are insulting and sound ignorant.
So I add to my political profile being anti tolerant.