nothing to write

today was the day we all knew was coming where the long come on that i tried to end months ago was confessed to. it didnt occur to me until now that possibly this was done to spur me into action. likely not.

the point is that i go on vacation with xxx and still no acceptance to marry, i come home and get the straight-on by the wrong guy.

am i in love. i dont think she can live with me because i am a constant reminder of bad choices. i dont want to cause her pain. i want to cause her love.